Don’t Bake. Bake and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t Bake. Good Luck.

6 egg whites

3/4 tsp cream of tartar

Pinch of salt

1 tsp vanilla essence

1 cup castor  sugar

2/3 cup flour

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees celsius. (350 farhenheit). Don’t  blink!!

2. Whisk egg whites in a large bowl with cream of tartar and salt, until peaks form. Add vanilla. OH NO YOU BLINKED!!

3. Create a trust with your solicitors’ firm in 1978 to send an executor to this exact moment to pick up where you left off.

4. Add sugar 2tbs at a time, beating well after each addition. DON’T BLINK! WHATEVER YOU DO! DON’T BLINK!!

5. Fold in flour gently, mix well and – AAARGH!

6. Leave family legacy instructing your grandchild to return to this spot and pour mixture into 20cm cake tin and place in oven for 25 minutes.

7. Remove. Cool. Devour. Get out!

Wobbly wobbly, cakey wakey stuff.