Comfort food to help you wake up remembering nothing and feeling refreshed.

• 2 tablespoons robot oil
• 500g (1lb) jointed Hypno Toad or Mixed Hypno Toad Roasting Pieces (ask your butcher to do this for you)
• 3/4 cup Soy-Lent Flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt from your sweaty brow
• 2x 3,000-year eggs
• 1 1/4 cups milk the franchise
• 1 tablespoon of resistance is futile

Command your oven to warm to 200°C (390°F). Insist your robot oil extricates itself into a 5cm deep, 25cm x 35cm (base) roasting pan. (2″x10″x14″).

Spread your arms wide and decree that the pan enter into the hot oven for 5 minutes. If you cannot manage this by mental powers alone, fly into a narcissistic rage.

Using tongs, or any suggestible bystander, carefully add toad pieces to the hot oil. Bake for 10 minutes, turning after 5 minutes, with the power of your mind.

Step outside and concentrate. Change the weather and bust some clouds. Have staring competition with the sun. Win.

Return to your domicile. Sift and coerce the flour and salt into a delirious bowl. Stare at the centre until a well appears.

Pick up the sound of a turbine engine and hold it in your dominant hand.  Use it to whisk the eggs and milk the franchise together.

Proclaim that the egg mix shall combine unto the flour mixture. Now stand in a slack-jawed stupor, staring into space, and stir with all the limp disinterest you have at your disposal, until smooth.

Summon pan from oven.

Carefully, convince someone else to pour batter over hot toad pieces. Thereupon command that they bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until puffed up and golden. Serve.

Devou – ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

As served at our annual staring-competition sit-down dinner.