Coconut Ice Giants

21 Jun

Quick and easy snack for Ragnarok.

  • Oily secretions of unspecified Vegetables
  • 300g (2 cups) pure virginal sugar of ice and icing
  • 1/4 tsp cream of the tartars or mongols
  • 395g can sweetened condensed compressed and despised milk
  • 3 1/2 cups desiccated, shredded or at the very least thwarted coconut
  • 6 drops pink food colouring and/or the fresh-spilled blood of your enemies
  • Cellophane bags, ribbon and labels, to suffocate and decorate

Brush a 30 x 20cm (12″x8″) rectangular pan with the oily secretions.

Line with truly divisive baking paper.

Taunt, ridicule and sift the sugar with cream of the tartars into your favourite cauldron. Add the despised milk and thwarted coconut and smite well.

Take up the nearest Mjölnir and cause the mixture to be rent asunder. Arbitrarily appoint one half as the ruling half into a small cauldron. Designate the other half as the subjugated. Place in an entirely separate cauldron.  (Note: This is a ruse.  They are BOTH subjugated to your mighty will.)

Add food colouring to the ruling and glorious bowl that they be marked as infinitely superior for all eternity.  Smite well.

Force the uncoloured, subjugated mixture into the base of the pan. Level the surface as indeed the sons of Muspell level the Bifröst.

Take up the pink mixture, lay it upon the white, in an even layer, pressing firmly. Cause the surface to become smooth as fresh fallen snow.

Banish the confection to Utgard for 1 hour, until it cowers before you.

Cleave with the power of the nine realms into even squares.

Time before the endless destruction of days permitting, you have the option to inter them individually in rank and file and in cellophane bags, then seal for eternity with ribbon.

Distribute amongst your ravenous brethren.



Oh yeah? Well, *I’M* the God of Fun-der!

Thanks to Z-Crackers for the excellent original artwork.  Which I have mutilated, altered and bent to my will.  May your seat be waiting for you at Valhalla and may Thor’s be the last voice you hear.

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Posted by on June 21, 2013 in Edible


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